Beautiful lives don’t just happen. We create them. -Topaz

Join the Tribe

*All tribe members will get updates and a SECRET password to access special member ONLY downloads. The password will be sent after you confirm your email.

How to Be Brave… When Fear Is Just an Excuse

Fear is just another excuse, a reason we give ourselves for not doing something or for being afraid of something.

When Fear Is Just Another Excuse, Learn How to Be Brave by artofabeautifullife.com

Lately, I have realized that fear is just another excuse we use. Fear is not even usually based on facts. It is nothing more than a feeling about something we have imagined happening. That means it is not even real. But we let it hold us back. We let it stop us from doing something we want to do, from being who we were created to be, from reaching our full potential, from hoping for amazing things, and from dreaming dreams.Sometimes we don’t even try because of fear. When that happens, fear has become an excuse.

How Not to Worry by artofabeautifullife.com“Worry is a misuse of the imagination.” -Dan Zudra

I have done that a lot over the past years, especially recently. But I wasn’t always like that. And I am tired of living like that now.  It dawned on me one day that my worry and feelings were not even real, other than the fact that my thoughts made them real. We do not know the future. The possibilities are endless.

One day, I found myself in another endless cycle of “what if” concerning what might be ahead in my life. I stopped myself and out of nowhere just started telling myself that everything I was imagining is just feelings. They were not facts, unless I’ve gone clairvoyant all of a sudden. And then I started reciting scriptures from the Bible and reminding myself that THOSE were the facts. When you are spiraling out of control over fears about something awful that you are worried about that may or may not happen in the future, that is the best advice I can give to you.  Fight feelings with facts.

Even if you are not feeling it when you are saying it, you keep saying facts over feelings. Feelings lie.

I was getting myself all worked up over something that had not even happened.  Mind blowing, right? It sounds even crazier when you say that out loud. What in the world was I doing?

And what about when fear keeps us from doing something, from going after something we want?

When we are afraid to do something  because we might fail, know that if we never try, we have already failed. We might as well try. -Topaz

Maybe we will fail. So what. Who hasn’t failed? I do not know of one successful person who has not experienced failures. What if failures are actually part of succeeding…what we do and learn along the way…that teaches us how to succeed? And we have let the very thing designed to teach us hold us back. We have used it as an excuse. It isn’t even a very good excuse.  It is only a feeling.

So how do we handle fear? We learn how to be brave.

How to Be Brave

What to do and say to yourself when you are afraid…

  1. Tell yourself that the fear you are feeling is just a feeling. Fears are not facts. Often, the facts are quite different from our fears. Fear is based on a feeling about something we have imagined happening. It is a feeling. But facts say that if we do not try, we will never succeed. If we do not jump, we will never fly. And, honestly, we do not know what the future holds, no matter how bleak it may look at this moment. We do not know what amazing thing might be just around the corner. Those are facts.  When you feel that fear and start to get scared, those are just feelings, not facts. Sometimes those fears are to keep us safe. Most of the time, though, those fears are just feelings that have nothing to do with keeping us safe. They hold us back from being who we were created to be. They hold us back from reaching our full potential.
  2. Ask yourself these powerful questions: “What if I do this and it is wildly successful?” Imagine that for a moment. Doesn’t that feel much better? If we are going to play imaginary “what if” games, let’s play fun ones.
  3. Do not over think it. I remember a time when I was totally out of my comfort zone. I was doing a sales job and was required to cold call and go door to door. You have to really have known me back then to know how insane even the very thought of this was. But I was in a position where failure was not an option. I was a newly single parent of two young sons. Failure was not an option. I took a deep breath and did it all. Every single thing I was told to do to be successful and then some.  Other than the normal exercises in class, I really did not extra prep at all. I didn’t want to seem phony or canned.  I should have added awkward to that list which is probably what I did seem. Surprisingly,  people didn’t care if I was awkward….and about to hyperventilate.  I am not sure some even noticed. It all worked even if  I had never done it before, or if it wasn’t done perfectly. If I had spent too much time thinking on it, I probably would have seemed like I was reciting a rehearsed script. Awkward was probably the better choice. They could probably understand awkward doing what I was doing.  The main thing is just to try not to psyche yourself out before you even go up to bat.
  4. Know that everyone has failed at some point. Greater men have all failed in their lives. If you want to succeed, you are going to have had failures. Sometimes we just have to get our failures out of the way, so don’t let the thought of a failure stop you. It is part of the process. And, hey, what if you don’t fail? What if you succeed beyond your wildest dreams?
  5. Be determined that failure is not an option. If it is something that you really want, be determined that failure is not an option. I know. I just said that everyone fails. I mean be determined that failure is not an option in the long run, know that eventually you will succeed, some way, some how. Having the “failure is not an option” attitude is what will keep you focused on the prize and give you the tenaciousness that you will need to see it through even when face with failures. They won’t touch you or your determination.

“The world makes way for the man who knows where he is going.” -Ralph Waldo Emerson

Our fears are just feelings about thoughts. They are based on imagined outcomes. If we are going to use our imaginations, let’s use them in a much more fun way. Let’s imagine ourselves succeeding. Let’s imagine the best case scenario. Sure, it might not happen…this time. But if you are going after it like it is the last train out tonight, it will happen. It’s just a matter of time. Keep learning and growing and realize fear is just another excuse. And of all the things to hold us back, something that is just a feeling based on a imaginary thought should not be one of them.

“Fear and faith have something in common. They both ask us to believe something will happen that we cannot see.”   -Joel Osteen

“It takes the same amount of energy to believe as it does to worry.” -Joel Osteen

If we are going to play imaginary “what if” games, let’s imagine good things, exciting things, beautiful things.  Let’s imagine the best things.

A few more pinnable posters for pinterest…
When Fear Is Just Another Excuse, Learn How to Be Brave by artofabeautifullife.com

When Fear Is Just Another Excuse, Learn How to Be Brave by artofabeautifullife.com

♥ Join the Tribe! ♥
Beautiful lives don't just happen. We create them. ~Topaz
Subscribe TODAY and start receiving access to special subscriber only downloads and join us in creating a beautiful life!
* indicates required
(*The current password for "subscriber only" downloads will be emailed to you after confirming your email address.)

10 thoughts on “How to Be Brave… When Fear Is Just an Excuse”

  1. Topaz, Fear is the killer of dreams, of happiness, and of time and energy. I think this post was beautiful and I wish I had a better handle on my fear. I do love Mark Twain’s quote: “Courage is resistance to fear, mastery of fear, not absence of fear.” When I am afraid, I remind myself it can be a great motivator to change. I just have to work on not allowing fear to be in charge of me. Thank you for such a thought provoking post. Have a beautiful day!

    • Thank you, Elizabeth, for the kind words. And you are so right about fear keeping us from dreams and happiness. Fear keeps us from so much good in our lives. I love that you used that quote. I might go back later add that one, too. Fear and failure are normal to feel, but we have to realize they are just that feelings. With courage, we can move past the feeling and just do it anyway. THAT is where the magic is. You have a beautiful day, too!

  2. I can’t tell you how much this spoke to me today. I’m an anxious person by nature, and lately I have been letting my fears get the best of me. Every day I’m working on being brave. This post gave me a lot to think about – thank you so much! You are a beautiful writer, and I’m so glad to have found you.

    • Oh, Lana, I am so glad what was speaking to me lately is speaking to others. I was doing the same thing as you…letting the fears get the best of me. It is crazy when you think about how we let a feeling about something that hasn’t even happened control our lives. Here’s to braver days for us both!

      I’m so glad we found each other, too! That was so sweet of you. Thank you for saying that and the kind words about my writing. That made my day.

  3. I have a very tight and rigid comfort zone and my fear loves to keep me here where I am safe. The thing is I learnt long ago the magic in life happens when I pass through the circle of fear, wrapping myself protectively in my blanket of courage. I shall be dancing wildly today as I imagine only the very best things.

    • Hi Karen! You have such a beautiful way with words…wrapping myself protectively in my blanket of courage. You are right…this is where the magic happens. Have a beautiful Saturday, Karen! Dance on! ~Topaz

  4. Hi Topaz – I keep selecting you from the SITS Saturday Sharefest every week! I love your stuff.

    I always remember this acronym for Fear: False Evidence Appearing Real. Makes it go away pretty easily 🙂

    Much love and have a great week! ~Wilma

    • Hi Wilma! It’s so good to see you again! Just came from your blog! Weren’t we on the same page this week? Love that! And great acronym! Thanks for sharing that! xo

  5. Do not over think it. That’s the one I needed to hear most today. I over-analyze everything until I talk myself out of everything in fear. I’m really reflecting on your words this morning. Thank you so much for sharing!

    • That one gets a lot of us and can stop us in our tracks before we even realize what has happened. The great news is that it is really not that hard to fix once we realize it. It’s wonderful to meet you, Tricia!

Comments are closed.