How to Be Brave… When Fear Is Just an Excuse

Fear is just another excuse, a reason we give ourselves for not doing something or for being afraid of something.

Lately, I have realized that fear is just another excuse we use. Fear is not even usually based on facts. It is nothing more than a feeling about something we have imagined happening. That means it is not even real. But we let it hold us back. We let it stop us from doing something we want to do, from being who we were created to be, from reaching our full potential, from hoping for amazing things, and from dreaming dreams.Sometimes we don’t even try because of fear. When that happens, fear has become an excuse.

“Worry is a misuse of the imagination.” -Dan Zudra

I have done that a lot over the past years, especially recently. But I wasn’t always like that. And I am tired of living like that now.  It dawned on me one day that my worry and feelings were not even real, other than the fact that my thoughts made them real. We do not know the future. The possibilities are endless.

One day, I found myself in another endless cycle of “what if” concerning what might be ahead in my life. I stopped myself and out of nowhere just started telling myself that everything I was imagining is just feelings. They were not facts, unless I’ve gone clairvoyant all of a sudden. And then I started reciting scriptures from the Bible and reminding myself that THOSE were the facts. When you are spiraling out of control over fears about something awful that you are worried about that may or may not happen in the future, that is the best advice I can give to you.  Fight feelings with facts.

Even if you are not feeling it when you are saying it, you keep saying facts over feelings. Feelings lie.

I was getting myself all worked up over something that had not even happened.  Mind blowing, right? It sounds even crazier when you say that out loud. What in the world was I doing?

And what about when fear keeps us from doing something, from going after something we want?

When we are afraid to do something  because we might fail, know that if we never try, we have already failed. We might as well try. -Topaz

Maybe we will fail. So what. Who hasn’t failed? I do not know of one successful person who has not experienced failures. What if failures are actually part of succeeding…what we do and learn along the way…that teaches us how to succeed? And we have let the very thing designed to teach us hold us back. We have used it as an excuse. It isn’t even a very good excuse.  It is only a feeling.

So how do we handle fear? We learn how to be brave.

How to Be Brave

What to do and say to yourself when you are afraid…

1. Tell yourself that the fear you are feeling is just a feeling. Fears are not facts. Often, the facts are quite different from our fears. Fear is based on a feeling about something we have imagined happening. It is a feeling. But facts say that if we do not try, we will never succeed. If we do not jump, we will never fly. And, honestly, we do not know what the future holds, no matter how bleak it may look at this moment. We do not know what amazing thing might be just around the corner. Those are facts.  When you feel that fear and start to get scared, those are just feelings, not facts. Sometimes those fears are to keep us safe. Most of the time, though, those fears are just feelings that have nothing to do with keeping us safe. They hold us back from being who we were created to be. They hold us back from reaching our full potential.
2. Ask yourself these powerful questions: “What if I do this and it is wildly successful?” Imagine that for a moment. Doesn’t that feel much better? If we are going to play imaginary “what if” games, let’s play fun ones.
3. Do not over think it. I remember a time when I was totally out of my comfort zone. I was doing a sales job and was required to cold call and go door to door. You have to really have known me back then to know how insane even the very thought of this was. But I was in a position where failure was not an option. I was a newly single parent of two young sons. Failure was not an option. I took a deep breath and did it all. Every single thing I was told to do to be successful and then some.  Other than the normal exercises in class, I really did not extra prep at all. I didn’t want to seem phony or canned.  I should have added awkward to that list which is probably what I did seem. Surprisingly,  people didn’t care if I was awkward….and about to hyperventilate.  I am not sure some even noticed. It all worked even if  I had never done it before, or if it wasn’t done perfectly. If I had spent too much time thinking on it, I probably would have seemed like I was reciting a rehearsed script. Awkward was probably the better choice. They could probably understand awkward doing what I was doing.  The main thing is just to try not to psyche yourself out before you even go up to bat.
4. Know that everyone has failed at some point. Greater men have all failed in their lives. If you want to succeed, you are going to have had failures. Sometimes we just have to get our failures out of the way, so don’t let the thought of a failure stop you. It is part of the process. And, hey, what if you don’t fail? What if you succeed beyond your wildest dreams?
5. Be determined that failure is not an option. If it is something that you really want, be determined that failure is not an option. I know. I just said that everyone fails. I mean be determined that failure is not an option in the long run, know that eventually you will succeed, some way, some how. Having the “failure is not an option” attitude is what will keep you focused on the prize and give you the tenaciousness that you will need to see it through even when face with failures. They won’t touch you or your determination.

“The world makes way for the man who knows where he is going.” -Ralph Waldo Emerson

Our fears are just feelings about thoughts. They are based on imagined outcomes. If we are going to use our imaginations, let’s use them in a much more fun way. Let’s imagine ourselves succeeding. Let’s imagine the best case scenario. Sure, it might not happen…this time. But if you are going after it like it is the last train out tonight, it will happen. It’s just a matter of time. Keep learning and growing and realize fear is just another excuse. And of all the things to hold us back, something that is just a feeling based on a imaginary thought should not be one of them.

“Fear and faith have something in common. They both ask us to believe something will happen that we cannot see.”   -Joel Osteen

“It takes the same amount of energy to believe as it does to worry.” -Joel Osteen

If we are going to play imaginary “what if” games, let’s imagine good things, exciting things, beautiful things.  Let’s imagine the best things.

A few more pinnable posters for pinterest…