Well, you get my point.
I’m not going to lie. I’m starting to feel a little like Job. You know when you start googling how long did Job suffer, you might be in a rough season. I’m really glad I can joke about it, because some days that sense of humor is survival.
I tell you this not for sympathy (I truly hate that) or not even empathy but to let you know if you’re going through a rough season that we will both be okay. We might not ever be the same. But we’ll be okay. And even during the worst storms, there can still be good days. And hope always springs eternal. Who knows what might be around the corner for us. You know, Job didn’t suffer forever. God restored everything and even gave him a new family.
I heard this line an episode of Frasier, and it speaks to me every time I hear it.
“You’re mourning the loss of what you thought your life was going to be. Let it go. Things don’t always work out the way you plan. That’s not necessarily bad. Things have a way of working out anyway.” -Frasier
No matter what we are going through, remember…things have a way of working out anyway. We just have to be open to new things God is doing in our life.
With everything I’ve lost and gone through, I should be in a puddle on the floor, but I’m not. I’m not going to lie. I was at times this year. But I’m okay. If I”m going to survive this, all of this, I have to keep my head in the game. My faith must stay strong and not waiver, even when I feel weak. And my mind has to think on the good things…not the things that break me.
That is probably good advice for us all. In any season.
I’ve done a lot to keep my mind busy, forcing it to get drawn into other things so strongly that it forces other things out. But it led to something really cool. Honestly, I was also procrastinating doing something. I don’t remember what. It was probably something icky and grownup. It is truly amazing what I can accomplish when I am procrastinating about something else. But it led to something really good in my life. Something that has been key to helping me survive the storm and stay strong.
To explain this, I need to give a little backstory. Many years ago I went through a difficult divorce and found myself the single parent of two young children. I went into real estate, and while I don’t recommend that move in that position to a lot of people, it was the best thing in the world for me. Failure wasn’t an option for me, so I read everything they told me to read. I took every free class or seminar they offered. And I purposely chose the best company in the area where the owner was committed to that kind of growth. Now mind you, I’m doing all of this for work. I’m not even thinking about my emotional crisis. I don’t have time for that. Meanwhile, just a few months after I started with this company, we get slammed with a category 4 Hurricane. That was fun. At this point, nothing is even phasing me. It was all probably shock by now. But the owner of the company brings someone in to talk to us, to help us deal with the aftermath, and to help us be there for our clients and support them through all of this. She mentioned a whole list of about five or six major things that can cause us trauma, a natural disaster being one of them. But I remember sitting there listening to her and realizing I had gone through every single thing on her list in the last 18 months. Now, I had two choices at that point. I could have crawled under a table and chosen to never come out, because I should obviously not still be standing. Or I could realize I was still standing. And I was okay. I chose the latter. You see, God led me to where and what I needed to be doing to heal…from all of it. And so much good and positive things and growth were being fed into my mind on a business level, but it just spilled over into my personal life.
God is always the force that gets me through it all. And He also knows what I need. You see, when we go through these hard times, if we’re not careful they become the voice in our heads. They become our hate messages to ourselves. They spill over into every single other area in our lives. What I learned by working for this particular company is how important it is to feed our heads with growth minded things during the hard times. We are in a battle. And our mind will go to the wrong place if we do not occupy it with something good. We can’t think two thoughts at the same time. So I realized the power of these things in my life during difficult times, but I was struggling with focus and couldn’t seem to make myself follow through with it this time. I would make a list of books to read and forget all about it. All the time. No matter how many ways and times I attempted to do this, I wasn’t following through with it daily like I needed. So I started making another list and thought to myself how tired I was of doing this. It doesn’t work. Ahhh…perfect time to procrastinate and create a big project when I should be doing something else. Yep. I’m in. So for a week, I got lost in formulas and math, two things that I don’t even like, but hey…It keeps me from doing whatever that other thing was, and the great thing about this was it was so mind consuming that I didn’t think about anything else for a week, and it really gave my mind and heart a much needed break. And when I emerged, I had created a system that has worked for me for 8 months, and I’m still using it today. And it has been my survival through this. God always knows what I need while He puts me back together.
So that’s the story of how and why I created the reading tracker that sort of compels you to stick with it, even when you don’t stick with things, or even don’t remember you have things. It continues to track even if you aren’t reading. And trust me, that will motivate you like nobody’s business. Who knew? Then I remembered all the things I’ve read over the years about measuring and tracking goals. Oh, yeah. Now, I get it. So I’ve used the concept to help with a lot of things this year. It’s been such a good thing for this world class procrastinator with ADD. My poor head. My husband would try to tell me in the beginning what his head felt like with Huntington’s Disease. I’m listening and thinking, “Uhmm…yeah. Welcome to my world. It’s hard, isn’t it?” He was always such a focused and OCD person about everything. My head works NOTHING like that. And sometimes I think all the systems are designed by people who are good at this stuff. Not me. This was designed by someone who needs help, someone that normal things don’t work for.
I wanted to get this put up in the shop for you guys by the end of this year, but I did not count on December turning out the way it did. December was a rough month. I stayed on track with my reading, but I had really wanted to get what I was working on for you guys finished and up on the blog. I had no idea what December was going to hold for us. It involved an emergency trip to the ER and then a transfer by ambulance to the pediatric cardiac unit for my two year old grandson, where I stayed the whole time he was there. It involved getting his cold. Then I managed to surface the week of Christmas to shop and prepare for Christmas. Then we all get another cold from that same little grandchild on Christmas Day. I’m pretty sure I wasn’t completely over the last one when I got this one. It just so happened the book I was reading at the time was talking about commitment to purpose, you know the whole failure is not an option mindset I had when I went into real estate. So while prying my eyes open, and sounding like I was trying to cough up a lung, I finished the whole goal planner and tracker system. It will track not only your reading, but it will track your yearly goals, monthly goals, habits, and 30 day challenges. Ok…who is amazing right now??? I. Did. It. I am so proud of myself. I may have looked and sounded like that little dude Gollum from the Lord of the Rings this past week, but I did it. And the fact that I did it when it wasn’t easy makes it even so much sweeter of a victory.
So I finished off 2018 with at least two goals completed. I read 11 books from April 28th to December 31st. And I finished a complete goal planner and tracker system and got it in the blog shop. Two hours before midnight. I. Did. It.
Click here to see what all the excitement is about!
I wouldn’t have gotten the second goal done had I not been doing the first goal. It was the right push at the right time. See why I so totally believe in doing this?
So I end this to say this…
- Keep your head in the game.
- Stay open to things God is doing in your life…even in the storms.
- God has always been One to bring good things out of storms.
And to last year and all the years before, I’m so grateful I was here. I will always choose to celebrate the gift of life.
Much love and peace to you all! Here’s to a beautiful new year. What are your goals, intentions, focus areas or even your word for the new year? Have you started a reading list for the year? I love to hear what others are reading.
Love,
Topaz