What happens when we find ourselves being the man in the arena, the man who steps out of his comfort zone in life, the man who shows up?
I was watching an episode of Extreme Weight Loss where, along with the weight loss, a woman was getting back into gymnastics, something she had done as a child. She was a bit of a perfectionist and was really struggling with feeling embarrassed at her slightly clumsy first attempts at what came so easily as a child…with years and years of practice. This was a difficult lesson for her, being imperfectly imperfect.
It is hard when we are the man in the arena putting ourselves out there.
But from my comfy sofa, I just wanted to scream through the television…
Be PROUD of what you are doing! SO proud! You are amazing! So what if you are not performing like you did when you were younger. How many women our age can even attempt something like that? Not many. I thought she was amazing.
It is so easy to feel and see the obvious from a safe place. But how many time have I been equally as hard on myself?
― Maya Angelou
It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena,whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs, who comes short again and again, because there is no effort without error and shortcoming; but who does actually strive to do the deeds; who knows great enthusiasms, the great devotions; who spends himself in a worthy cause; who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who neither know victory nor defeat.
I’ve learned the hard way not to judge the man in the arena. You do not know what it is like in their shoes. But can we just learn to cut ourselves the same slack?
This reminds me of an episode of Friends where Monica is being brave and stepping outside of her comfort zone by doing things she had never been brave enough to do. One of these things is taking tap dance lessons. It went like this…
Teacher: You by the door. In or out?
Monica : In. [She joins in the dancing. She still flounders]
Teacher: You in the back, you’re getting it all wrong!
Monica : Yeah, but at least I’m doing it!
Yeah, but at least I’m doing it. She’s right. It is in the doing that we become the man in the arena, the strong man. We showed up.
We need to be kinder when we talk to ourselves. Give ourselves a break. Encourage ourselves. We need to not be the critic to our arena man.
Maybe we should say things like this…
- “I have the favor of God. I am strong and healthy. I’m well able to do what I need to do.” –Joel Osteen
- Or as Danielle Laporte would say, “I’ve got this.” Or if I don’t know, “I’ll figure it out.”
- “Sometimes if I know I’m going to have a really busy day I tell myself, ‘Today, I’m going to be awesome.’” -Jennifer, Mum’s Musing Mind
I love it. Today, I’m going to be awesome. I’m just giving myself and everyone else a heads up.
And, just what if we are able to do more than we ever dreamed possible?
What is your favorite way to encourage yourself? What would you say to encourage someone else? Would this perhaps be something that you need to hear?
Tell us your favorite way to encourage yourself.
Let’s purpose in our hearts and souls to become our own biggest cheerleader. And to dust ourselves off and pick ourselves up when we fall. To tell ourselves what we wish someone else would say. Then go be that person for someone else.
You is smart.
You is kind.
You is important.
For your pinning pleasure…
More resources…
Daring Greatly: How the Courage to Be Vulnerable Transforms the Way We Live, Love, Parent, and Lead
Here lately my encouragement for when I am feeling down has been listening to Everything is awesome from Lego Movie. Everything is awesome when you are a part of the team and my husband keeps reminding me that we are more than husband and wife; we are a team. I also remind myself that the only expectations I have to live up to are my own. I agree wholeheartedly with Monica’s quote. I have been told too many times I am crazy for trying to accomplish my dream, let alone trying to live it. Well, at least I’m trying to do it. Which is a lot more than just dreaming about … a dream.
It is wonderful to be part of a team…a tribe, Ana Lynn. I love the word tribe. It is powerful, soulful, and empowering. It’s funny that you mentioned others telling you that you are crazy for following your dreams. I actually blogged about that recently. I have come to the conclusion that I must be very selective with whom I share my dreams. They are sacred territory. And some people are just dream crushers. And we are the keeper of our dreams and have to protect them. Here’s the blog post in case you missed it… https://artofabeautifullife.com/protect-your-dreams/
My niece and I do something similar to this all. the. time. I started doing it to her and then she caught on and does it too. If we are having a hard day or look blue the other one will say: “Do you know what?” pause and then bust into that song. Because the truth is, if we want it to be, everything is awesome. It’s just that sometimes we have to look a little closer or change our attitude about what is happening around us.
Awww! I love that, Lizzi! You made it something fun and supportive and your own little cool thing you do! And you are so right. Sometimes we just have to look a little closer. Awesome is all around.
I’ve been struggling with some major self criticism lately. Loved every word you wrote. Thank you.
Oh, I’m sorry, Lana. That’s not fun. We can be so cruel to ourselves. You are not alone. Here’s to all of us finishing out the rest of the year with better self-talk! One thing I am learning to tell myself is that the things I catch myself thinking and saying to myself are based on feelings and feelings are not facts. Feelings are not facts. I then try to replace it with God’s truth or something that I would say to a friend. It’s so good to see you. Have a beautiful day.
Oh this is just so so inspiring!! I am soaking it all in…
My greatest source of self acceptance and love comes from a verse in Psalm 139. I have written a ton on it, because there is nothing more powerful than knowing our creator has made us and He claims we are “Fearfully and wonderfully made”.
Every bit of us.
Even the parts that try and fail. Even the parts that don’t even try. Even the very parts that we hate to look at- He loves.
Hmmm… love that truth!
Love that verse, Chris. I think my favorite for this is Zephaniah 3:17. I love the thought that He rejoices over us with singing.
This was just what I needed today. I struggle with perfectionism and have for as long as I can remember. Right now I am recovering from a hysterectomy. I can’t do all the things I want to do. It’s frustrating for me.
This post helped. I will go slowly for a while and it will be okay. “Today, I’m going to be awesome.” That’s going to be my new mantra for a while. And awesome doesn’t have to be perfect.
Thanks so much for sharing. Happy Sharefest!
So glad this helpful, Robin. It IS frustrating when we cannot do what we want to do or what we used to could do. Having dealt with various health issues over the last few years, I have to keep my focus on what I can do. I’ve learned to celebrate a lot of randomness. lol But anything we can do is worth celebrating. Hang in there. Today…we are going to be AWESOME!