I found myself overwhelmed the other day at how busy life had become this past year. My mind began to wander to simpler times when my sons were little. I love how we used to go fishing and crabbing every weekend. I remembered when Friday night was family night. There was time and space to have something to look forward to all week. I look at my life now and it just seems so hard, and there never seems to be time and space to breathe, much less do anything fun. But the real truth is my life was also hard as hell back then. I lost my brother and lived through an awful marriage during those times. I’ve been through some things. In some ways it was even harder back then. I remember when Hurricane Hugo came ripping through my hometown. I was a newly single mom with two small children starting a brand new career in real estate. My year had been rough. I’m pretty sure I was just numb by then. Our broker brought in a woman to speak on adjusting and processing after Hurricane Hugo. She read a long list of the major events we go through in life, natural disasters being one of them. I’m sitting there listening to this when I realize I had been through, not one, but ever single thing on her list…in the last eighteen months. Every. Single. Thing. It was a wonder I was still standing, but I was. And I was doing fine. And that is the part I remember the most about that time in my life.
Memories are a funny thing, aren’t they?
Maybe I’m looking back because I really do miss when my sons were little. Maybe it’s because I’m over 50, and time is marching on too fast. Maybe it’s because my body has far more aches and pains with whatever I pulled that just won’t seem to heal, at least not quick enough for me. Maybe all of those things effect my perspective. But even back then, there was that time I couldn’t move my neck for six months and would go into my closet where no one would see me and cry. There was also the time that I suddenly couldn’t flip a light switch with my left hand. But it’s not those times that I remember most. It’s the good memories with my children from a time that went by entirely too quickly.
The truth is there were plenty of awful times back then. Memories can be a funny thing. When looking back, we often remember the good more than the bad. And you know what? I’m tired of looking back at my life and feeling like the best is behind me. While living through each difficult season, wishing for the last, not realizing that one day, I would be wishing for this season. That is deep. Read that a few times and really wrap your mind around that.
The good news isn’t that life was sucky back then too.
The good news is that there are always plenty of good times, even when things are bad.
The good news is that we always have the ability to intentionally create good times, even when things are bad.
The good news is that it is the good in life that floats to the top.
It is the good in life that floats to the top. -Topaz
We tend to not remember the bad, and when we do, it’s not as intense as when we lived through it. So have heart. This too will be all about the good memories one day, so why not go ahead and focus on those now. Let part of your memory about today be that you were not so focused on the bad, which we’ve discovered will not be such a big part of our memories anyway, but that we were focused on the good and we were fully present for it. Let us make that part of the memories we will have one day.
During some of the hardest and darkest times, I made some amazing memories and would love to make more just like them. I completely forgot how much pain I was in during that time and that I could barely use my hands. So either my life is getting so sucky that even the darkest times are looking good, or the moral to the story is that we can make beautiful memories and find beauty during all seasons. I’m pretty sure it is the latter. And it is the good in life that floats to the top.
The truth is we pass through most of our difficult times. While it may seem like they are here forever, they usually aren’t. Learn to see past them. Get a clear vision of the other side. Find the best in this moment and live that.
Live the story you want to tell. Live the story you want to remember.
[tweetthis]It is the good in life that floats to the top. -Topaz[/tweetthis]