Beautiful lives don’t just happen. We create them. -Topaz

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I Feel Like I’ve Lived Five Lifetimes Since This Picture

Live the story you want to tell.This time last year the boys and I were headed to the beach to stay for a long weekend. I feel like I have lived five lifetimes since then. Five lifetimes.

Since this picture…

My youngest son got married.

Rocket Man became unable to work and lost his job. I took care of the months and months of long term disability, insurance, doctor appointments, etc. that followed. Because of his disease, the actual social security disability was the easiest part and was approved in a few weeks. This time last year RM was driving and paying bills. Now he can’t. It’s like everything changed overnight. It wasn’t supposed to change overnight. Did I miss the steps along the way? I don’t know. Each day is different now. Maybe Hungtington’s is just a fickle beast.

I’ve broken the same toe twice, not counting the time I broke it just before our vacation.

I pulled the same core muscle twice. At times, RM was having to help me up and help me sit down. I literally got stuck one morning and could not get any farther down than the arm of the chair. I had to call him on the cell phone to get me unstuck. I don’t recommend pulling a core muscle. Not that I would have recommended it before, but what I’m saying now is avoid it like the plague.

For five months, I prayed I wouldn’t sneeze.

I’m still dealing with it, but I can get around as long as I rest a lot.

We still find it hard to believe that it’s just been a year or less since all these things have happened. Five lifetimes is what it feels like. Five lifetimes.

But the good news is we have survived it all. My tribe. My people. We laugh. We play games. We are there for each other. We dream. We plan. We hope. We make beautiful memories. My family. My friends. I have the best people. All of them. My cup runneth over.

I’ve said many times how important it is to live the story you want to tell, but I’ve also come to realize this past year the importance of living your story well. Things happen to us all. Sometimes the choices aren’t ours. It’s just life. But we get to decide how we are going to handle it, what we’re going to let it do to us or make us. Let your story make you stronger, softer, kinder, fiercer, braver, more understanding, and loving. That’s the story I want to live. That’s the story I want to tell my children and grandchildren.

[tweetthis]”Let your story make you stronger, softer, kinder, fiercer, braver, more understanding, and loving. That’s the story I want to tell.” -Topaz[/tweetthis]

My story is not a story of woe is me. We are warriors. Look what we’ve survived. Some days I feel like I’m a freakin’ superhero!

Life is funny. It is never all good or all bad. We just have to choose the parts we want to focus on. This year, my son took me to the beach on Mother’s Day. We took pictures, visited all the little shops, walked the beach, ate a great dinner. It was the perfect day. It still fills my heart with so much joy just to think about it. My other son came over and brought me food when I had a bad reaction to medication. They have both helped in a million different ways. We’ve laughed. We’ve celebrated. We have loved. We’ve kept our faith. That is how I want to live my story. That is the story I want to tell.

The Bible verse where it talks about how He goes before us to make our crooked places straight has really spoken to me this year. While it may still seem a little crooked, you would just have to know the little stories along the way of how He was already there. Like the night before RM lost his job, we really did not know what would happen that day. I’m up late and making something to eat, when all of a sudden, I just know. I KNOW that he’s going to lose his job tomorrow. And then I had the strongest wave of peace I have ever felt in my whole life just wash over me, and it surely defied all logic, but it was God letting me know it would be OK…just as the door was opening, and we had to walk through it. All the years I worried about this, and God gives me the peace and grace I need to do it when I need it. God is good.

Here’s to living our stories well and making beautiful memories with our people. Life doesn’t have to be perfect for us to do that.

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Beautiful lives don't just happen. We create them. ~Topaz
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4 thoughts on “I Feel Like I’ve Lived Five Lifetimes Since This Picture”

  1. OH my beautiful friend… you have been through such trials and tests and despite the challenging valleys you have faced, you still ring truth and inspiration from the mountain top!

    My heart is both heavy and lifted as I read through your story and your powerful testimony on what it truly means to live through it all well. It surely seems you are doing that in a profound way, and in sharing it with us? We are moved to do the same.

    And oh oh oh, how God spoke to you and breathed His Peace into you the night before RM lost his job? After all that worrying about it and then the moment in which God provided His assurance? YES. It is breathtaking to know that above all else, He will equip us and prepare us and ultimately hold our hearts in the midst of it all…

    And that is what I cling to most in this piece.

    You will continue to be lifted up into His loving arms daily through my prayers, my precious friend.

    • Oh, Chris, you are such a beautiful soul. You just don’t know how much you mean to me. You didn’t forget me while I went MIA and even checked on me a couple of times. You are such a beautiful soul and complete rest to a weary traveler’s soul. You just have no idea how much those little things can mean when we’re in the middle of a battle. Thank you for that. Oh, I knew you would get…really get…the story about the wave of peace that washed over me. It was so not of this world. It really makes you wonder what Heaven and being in His presence will be like. I look for Him in everything now. I don’t want to miss His amazing little whispers and love notes.

      Thank you for being my friend. xo

  2. So glad Christine posted your blog on FB so I have a chance to visit! What a beautiful testimony of living the fruits of the spirit amidst the imperfections of life..you’re such an inspiration!!!

    • Hi Kathy! I love making friends with friends of my other blogger friends! Just popped over to visit your blog and love it! Look forward to following you! Thank you for your kind words on this post. God has been so good. It is amazing when we tune in to Him what He says and what He does. He’s so beautiful.

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